WHAT IS THE ANDYMURRAYOMETER?
The AndyMurrayometer is an indispensable
indicator as to whether the tennis player Andy Murray should be described
in conversation as "British" or "Scottish".
It can also be used by journalists who are confused as to his status
in their articles.
Examples of confusion are shown in these two examples:
"Britain's Andy Murray last night lost in the first round..."
"Scotland's Andy Murray reached the US Open final yesterday..."
Both these uses of his nationality are WRONG. We aim
to prevent these mistakes.
I'M AMERICAN, SO DON'T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
BRITISH AND SCOTTISH. IS IT THE SAME AS ENGLISH?
You poor thing, you've done very well to
be able to read this far down the page.
England and Scotland are both countries in Great Britain. So is Wales,
but no-one cares about them.
WHY DOES IT MATTER IF HE'S BRITISH OR SCOTTISH?
It matters hugely. Andy can legitimately
describe himself as either, but it's not his choice how the rest of
the country views him. If he's doing well, winning, and being happy,
the rest of the country will embrace him as a fellow Brit. If he stuffs
it all up, the Scots can keep him.
(Americans: it's a bit like when you stopped describing George W Bush
as American and deemed him Texan instead cos he was ruining the place.)
ARE YOU RUN BY PADDY POWER?
No. We're nothing to do with Paddy Power.
They just took bets on how British Andy Murray would be at the end of
Wimbledon 2009, and used our stats to settle the market. Which was very
nice of them. More info here.
WHEN WAS THE ANDYMURRAYOMETER INVENTED?
It was invented in 2005, a year after Britain's Andy
Murray won the US Open Boys' title.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
We feed information from a variety of sources
into a top-secret algorithm in order to ascertain Andy's British- or
Scottishness to the nearest 1%.
Sources include votes from site visitors and the views of a panel of
top experts, among others.
WHY CAN'T I VOTE?
Are you Zimbabwean? If so, there's a long-standing
problem with regards the Mugabe regime allowing free and fair elections
in your country. Please bear this in mind. If you aren't Zimbabwean,
maybe you have a pop-up blocker turned on.
You need to allow pop-ups on this site to be able to vote.
Don't worry, the vote window is the only one that'll pop up, we won't
fill your screen any fuller with porn than it already is.
HOW DO I KNOW WHEN YOU'VE UPDATED?
We've just signed up to this Twitter thing
that everyone's using, so if you follow
@TheAMO then we'll ping you a message thing whenever Andy does something
good/bad/ugly to affect his Britishness.
CAN WE NOW KEEP UP WITH EVENTS ON FACEBOOK?
Yes! The AndyMurrayometer's Goatfacebook
page is HERE. Be sure to tell both your friends!
WHY DO YOU SOMETIMES GO AGES WITHOUT UPDATING? IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A TWO-BIT OPERATION RUN BY CLOWNS?
No. It's because of EU regulations. We'd love to update every day, but we're just not allowed to. You might find we update more during major tennis events though.
HOW CAN SOMETHING SO USEFUL BE AVAILABLE FOR FREE?
We thought you'd never ask.
Despite the huge costs involved in running the network of supercomputers
needed to process the deluge of votes and stats that flood in to our
Top Secret HQ, we manage to pay the way using on-site adverts alone.
WHAT'S THAT BIG ROUND THING WEE JIMMY KRANKIE'S LEANING
ON? IT LOOKS REVOLTING.
It's a haggis. It is.
CAN I NICK YOUR IDEA AND RUN IT IN MY TWO-BIT NEWSPAPER/
COLUMN/ BLOG, PRETENDING TO MY READERS (WHO I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR) THAT
IT WAS MY IDEA ALL ALONG?
Gosh, no! Why would you want to do that?
Everything on here is either patented, copyrighted, protected by dogs
or electrified. You risk serious harm if you even attempt to steal any
Plus, your readers aren't stupid. They know a cheap knock-off when they
Instead, why not link to us, or get in touch to discuss syndication. That includes you, TalkSPORT. And you, The Sun. Did you think we wouldn't notice? Were you trying to impress your new editor? Is that all you've got, nicking gags off the internet that haven't been funny for six years?
BUT, BUT, BUT...
If you want to know more, or to get in touch,
or to accuse us of being racist, or anything else, please email: